Adult Attachment in Parent-Child Relationship

Understanding parents' internal working model of attachment is considered critical in enhancing early parent-child relationships (Berlin & Cassidy, 2001). Internal working model refers to an individual's expectation of how others are trustworthy and supportive of one's needs, and how one is worthy of kind treatment and likely to receive care when needed. According to Bowlby's theory of attachment, a parent's internal working model of attachment plays a critical role in socioemotional development of children.

The primary measure of internal working model of attachment is measured by the adult attachment interview (AAI) in which the interviewee is asked to tell early childhood experiences and their impact on current relationships. Adult attachment has been found to have direct link with attachment security of children. It has been hypothesized that adult attachment will influence parenting behavior, consequently shaping child attachment toward parents and child behaviors.

As children grow up, meet new people and explore new environment, they have emotional needs to turn to their parents in times of distress and uncertainty. When children's needs for security and comfort are met, parents become both a safe haven (to which children return for comfort in times of distress) and a secure base (from which children set out to explore new world) for children. In this reciprocal relationship between parents and children, adult attachment influences and shapes attachment security and behaviors of children.

Adult attachments are theoretically classified into 4 attachment styles: secure adult attachment, insecure/dismissing adult attachment, insecure/preoccupied adult attachment, and insecure/unresolved adult attachment. This adult attachment theory has provided new ways for psychotherapists to analyze and address parent-child relationship issues.

Securely attached parents value close relationships with their children. They acknowledge a child's needs and consistently meet the needs of children to seek comfort and closeness. They encourage children to explore new environment.

Insecure/dismissing parents avoid or minimize attachment from children and often reject children's needs to seek empathy, comfort and closeness. They overly encourage their children's exploration, competence, and independence. They may also be strict disciplinarian. Children with dismissing parents tend to become overwhelmed by their parent's demand for strength and independence. They may display avoidant behaviors. They may feel emotionally insecure and show aggression toward peers.

Insecure/preoccupied parents want to maximize attachment from their children in order to fill the void left by past relationships. Preoccupied parents treat their children as immature, demanding and dependent. They often maintain restless, tense and emotional interaction with their children. Their interactions with children encourage children's dependency and discourage children's autonomy and independent exploration.

Insecure/unresolved parents show helplessness toward their children and assume weak parental role. They typically have past experience of a loss or trauma. They often show frightened or frightening behavior, instilling fear into their children. Unresolved parents may have role reversal with their children, letting the children take care of parents. Children of unresolved parents may be demanding and controlling.